Ahhhhh, Mother’s Day…the day set aside to celebrate your mom. The now, commercialized, boiled down cash grab that has come to be celebrated on the second Sunday of May in North America.
Don’t get me wrong! I love my mom. I love the support and wisdom she gives me. I cherish the time she spends with my kids. I relish the time she gives me to work and get shit done outside the home…I love it. I love her. What I don’t love are the ridiculous advertising campaigns that say you should be spending MORE MONEY on mom’s. What man, woman or child wouldn’t want to grab sparkling diamonds for their mom? After all, she pushed you out of her vagina after eleventybillion hours of labor…doesn’t that deserve a karat for each ear??
How about a shiny new BMW? Exactly what a mom of twin’s needs…high priced, performance enhanced German cars to putter around to playdates and well baby check ups. That should fit the bill in a few years when you are stuffing kids and backpacks and sports gear and costumes into the back seat…or not.
Hey, if you have the money to spend, spend it! Buy her diamonds and cars and expensive handbags. After all, it’s a free country right?
What I think Mother’s Day should be is a celebration of the women around the world who challenge us! Support us! Enlighten us and call us on our bullshit! We should be remembering these women each and every single damn day as they set aside their lives to help us get our proverbial shit together in ours. Don’t celebrate your mom just ONE day a year. Do it all year long and do it with joy!
Maybe your mom is no longer here…honor her memory by keeping it alive in your memory and your children’s memory. Perhaps your mom never ever ever came close to winning mother of the year…remotely close. She was a super shitty parent who screwed up every life she came into contact with…thank your lucky stars you decided to end that pattern and create a new healthier life for you and your family.
I don’t know why we end up with the parents we do. If I was on the “parent choosing committee” at conception…I would have voted for parents in a tropical climate…alas…I am a Canadian in a city with 8 months of winter…2 weeks of summer and something brownish green in between for the other 3 1/2 months. What I have come to learn about my “perfectionist parenting” pre-baby is I had NO EFFING CLUE WHAT THE HELL I WAS TALKING ABOUT! My idea that “my child will NEVER do that” ended with the melt down screaming tantrum in the checkout aisle when I said no to tropical Tic-Tacs. I learned. I grew. I let go of my “ideal” day and I got down to the nitty gritty of parenting and releasing my mom from all the blame I felt she should carry for the less than stellar parenting I BELIEVED I had received as a hormonal teenage girl.
I model my parenting on my mom’s approach…fight for the big things…be gracious in the small things.
This Mother’s Day…forgive, let go and let’s move on. Don’t use ONE DAY a year to celebrate your mom with a crazy stupid expensive card and waxy chocolates! Say thanks to your mom every day for putting up with you. For doing the very best she could with what she had at the time.
Let’s face it….we could ALL do better at this parenting gig most days.