Gosh, I can’t believe how long it’s been since I put some smart assed words down here! Life seems to speed up doesn’t it? Just when you think you have it all under control, you blink and suddenly it’s a month later and 95% of what you wanted to do has fallen by the wayside.
Little Man celebrated his 7th birthday. That blew my mind…only a few short weeks ago he looked like this….
Barely able to touch the ground with his feet…and now HE is reading ME bedtime stories!
I am happily writing about a fun adventure over here at Toy with Me…and series on getting my mojo back. Not that I ever lost it, it simply was buried under all that life is handing me these days.
You can follow along and get involved over here:
You comments and support really help make the journey worthwhile so be sure to chat up with us!
I have been burning the midnight oil on my Parenting Site as well. If you didn’t know, I have my very own business! I help moms and dads create a happy, healthy, peaceful home so that they can fall back in love with their kids.
You can see all my Parenting stuff over at:
As 2013 draws to a close, I find myself contemplating promises. Not resolutions, but promises. I know that physically I need to take better care of myself. Don’t we all? That is the first step in getting back on track for 2014. Better sleep, better food and better activity. My next promise is to write more. I find writing so calming and soul soothing, I wonder why I take giant pauses in it…oh, wait…I know…eyeballs deep in parenting! I promise myself to do more writing. The stuff I write here will be far more personal and in-depth. My parenting site is taking on a much more tips, tricks and strategies role. I like having the freedom to speak about anything and everything here and will continue to do so.
Lastly, my readers and fans. You are what keeps me writing. Your personal messages of laughter and support keep me coming back again and again.
I hope you stick with me into 2014. I enjoy hearing your stories just as much as I enjoy writing mine.
Clearly in 2013 the only way to have a KICK ASS Halloween as a woman is to show your ASS! For real!
I did a quick search on Doctor Google and this is what graced my screen when I asked for “Women’s Halloween Costumes”
Really? Is that what a S.W.A.T. officer looks like? Because if it is, I am going to get my Meth Lab up and running pronto.
Are you shitting me? If a Nurse showed up in my hospital room dressed like this, I guarantee you the room would smell like beaver and desperation! If she scratched my surgery scars with that crinoline, I would definitely go all “Nurse Jackie” on her.
Football…UMMMM…if she takes a body check in this outfit, I’m pretty sure those faker footballs that have been inserted into her chest are going to explode and I don’t think those shoes are regulation…if you ask me. Maybe we could get an call on that.
This is called Sexy Kitty. I’m going to go out on a limb here and just rename it PUSSY, because that’s all you’re going to see when a drunk co ed ends up on her back passed out.
This is the female version of Super Mario. Right….because that’s what ever plumber wears…white gloves and thigh highs to clean the pipes…oh, wait…whose pipes are we sucking…errrrrrr…snaking out??
Mrs. Claus I can GUARANTEE everyone is going to be naughty if this is what wriggles down my chimney on December 24th. I would also consider batting for the other team if this is what I get to stuff my stocking with.
I did come across a few WTF costumes….
This is a what? Where? In what wet dream?? WHAT THE HOLY HELL?
What the hell is up with the GIANT FREAKING FUZZY LEGWARMERS??? Seriously? WHAT? Is it a subconscious message to take our bushes back to the glory days of 70′s porn and grow out the clown bush of doom? Seriously, can someone under the age of 25 explain this to me??
You knew it was coming. You knew that Halloween wouldn’t escape the #MILEYMOVEMENT You KNEW it! Seriously…can this whole Miley tongue and Paedo bear thing just go away….UGH!
Oh…men…I didn’t want to leave you out of the mix, because after all, you should dress your junk up too!
NSFW….you’ve been warned.
Candy Corn Smooches!
1. Where the hell has 2013 gone? It has literally evaporated out of my brain…yesterday it was New Year’s day…today, it’s freaking MID OCTOBER!!!
2. Where has my “oomph” gone? Did it get stolen? Did it die a quick death in the corner? Was it murdered by exhaustion and apathy? Where is it????
I have been eyeballs deep in getting shit going all over god’s green earth! My own “courses” are in the hopper and half baked…some of them are way further ahead than others, and they are swirling around my brain dying to get out. Except one problem…my exits for my ideas seem to be blocked…clogged like a sink drain after Thanksgiving Turkey day…grease and feathers are blocking the way out to the world. I am swimming in the black lagoon of slime…and not managing to get much done…except frustrate the loving shit out of myself!
I miss my writing. I hate being so exhausted all I want to do is sleep and sleep and sleep and then watch hours of TV and then sleep some more. Shift work is a kick in the box y’all and I hope you never ever have to work shift work if you don’t want to. In my 20′s I LOVED the shift work…now, not so much. I feel like I miss out on half my life…and my kid’s lives and so much more.
I have a question now for you….
What do you to do to get back on track and GET SHIT DONE? How do you manage sleep, eating, kids, work, friends and everything that comes along with being a human on a planet that runs on vodka and psychos? How do you do it all, because I want to do it all…it’s just that right now “ALL” isn’t what I want it to look like. AT ALL.
Please, share with me your greatest tips to get your oomph back on track.
I am a mom who loves summer. I love it a lot. A LOT! The routine is loosened, we can stay up later, we can watch movies in the middle of the day or well past “normal” bedtime.
Summer is a time to relax and spend time with my kids. Summer seems to end way too soon for us! You blink and it’s right back to morning alarms. Rushing to get dressed and teeth brushed and shoes on and out the door. Back to the season of school and busy-ness.
I have many mom friends who manage to pull off a hot breakfast on school days. Eggs, pancakes, waffles, toast, jam, fresh fruit…I am here admitting that I don’t. In fact, I rarely do. Many mornings, breakfast is cereal and a drink. Toast is popular too since I took to making my own bread!
One thing I LOVE having in my fridge is YOP. My teen LOVES YOP! Would drink it by the gallon if she could! It’s her go to drink on school mornings and over the summer, it became to the go to drink for all of us! Including me!
I put the YOP in a blender with a couple ice cubes, some frozen fruit. My son loves his Strawberry YOP blended with blueberries!
I made my drink a tad more grown up by throwing in my favorite Lemon Sorbet. Just the right amount of tang with the sweet of the YOP beverage.
This amazing concoction took us right through the summer and will remain in our list of go to breakfast foods. A new flavor is on it’s way and I can’t wait to have that added to our Strawberry and Strawberry Banana favorites!
Having YOP in the fridge is a lifesaver on those busy school mornings and makes the “Back To School” frenzy a little less…well…frenzied!
Please share with me your favorite back to school routine and how you make sure your kids don’t leave home without eating a healthy breakfast!
“Disclosure – I am participating in the Help YOP Help You Blogger Campaign by Mom Central Canada. I received compensation as a thank you for participating and for sharing my honest opinion. The opinions on this blog are my own.”
We are a house filled with lots of love and lots of laughter. We are pretty relaxed when it comes to parenting. I parent by gut instinct. I rarely lose sleep over my parenting, usually those nights come after a HUGE event, mostly…we laugh a lot and we hug a lot…A LOT.
That being said, I have had to spend the last week at home with the kids…my city was hit by devastating floods and the last week of school was cancelled. Kids…THRILLED! Me, not so much. See, I had all these plans to write and work and organize and CLEAN MY DAMN HOUSE….it didn’t happen. What I did discover was we own some toys I hate. A deep hate, like LOATHE…hate, hate, hate.
I’m happy we have the resources and ability to have these things…as a mom…I wish these toys would die in a fire!
1. Lego: These teeny tiny injury causing, vacuum wrecking pieces of devils plastic drive me insane! I step on them, I vacuum them up, the dog chews them…UGH! Luckily my son doesn’t have thousands of pieces, but the set of 704 he was given for his birthday last year is plenty.
2. Furby: Little Red latched onto these things and fell in love with them. It was the ONLY thing she wanted for her birthday last year. At first, funny, cute, engaging and hilarious…NOW…NOW….MINI SATAN in the bedrooms…turns on by itself, laughs in the middle of the night, scaring the shit out the kids, then me, then everyone ends up in my bed…I hate furby!
3. Minecraft: Okay, I know it’s not a toy, however it is all-consuming if I let it be for my 10-year-old. This game amazes me and pisses me off equally! I am amazed at the things she can build. She made a vending machine, trap door, fishing tank, petting zoo…the list is huge of the things she has created. THEN…there are (duh!) ASSHOLES on the server who steal stuff, “grief” her houses, wreck her creations, kill her animals…UGH! Of course, she’s 10 so she gets VERY upset and I have to talk her down, reiterate it’s a GAME…a FREAKING GAME…that yes, it’s frustrating to lose your stuff (online) and it’s upsetting to have to rebuild things…HOWEVER…it’s a DAMN game!!!
4. Board Games: Don’t get me wrong here…I love playing games with my kids. It’s a Friday night staple for us. What I really dislike is all the pieces that NEVER seem to get back into the box…days later I will find playing pieces, paper money, instruction cards…under furniture, in the corners of the basement, chewed by the dog…UGH! I wish the pieces were magnetic and went back to the boxes on their own.
5. Video Games: I admit it. I have become my mother. I can remember when we had a ColecoVision game as a kid…trying to play games and getting soooooooooo frustrated trying to figure stuff out and my mom looking at us helpless because she had NO CLUE how to play video games…I’m am now my mother. My son gets right into the Wii U and is frustrated trying to figure things out. I am ZERO help…none, nada…zip!
How about you parents? What things do you have in your home that you wish you could go back and NOT have in your home?
photo courtesy of C Slack flickr
I will shout it from the roof tops that I am a FIERCE advocate for my kids…scan back in this blog and you will see post after post after post of me going to war for my kids and my family!
I don’t take shit from anyone when it comes to my kids happiness, health or sanity.
The Calgary Board of (lack of) Education has come up with a flipping utterly ridiculous idea of changing report cards. No more letter grades…oh no…GOD FORBID we actually educate the kids in the system. We should really just be happy that they ACTUALLY attend school right? Who gives a rats ass if they are learning, growing, absorbing and gaining skills and knowledge? After all, isn’t school about warm, fuzzy, feel good moments…ALL. THE. TIME.
Forget that getting a job, getting into University or College is actually about what you can REALLY do! Let’s present them with these lovely fluffy report cards that can PINPOINT with ZERO ACCURACY that your child is “evident” “emergent” or “exemplary” HELL YES! Those terms are CRYSTAL CLEAR! NO?
The National Post had this to say:
But despite its glaring shortcomings, the grading change is not the most regressive part of Calgary’s new report card system. Indeed, lost in the hullabaloo about letter grades is the fact that report cards, which have typically gone out in Calgary schools between three and six times annually, will only be handed out twice per year and with nopersonalized comments. Amazingly, educators have justified the change as necessary because the old system was too much work for teachers.
The Globe and Mail added this:
More often than not, comments are the most valuable part of the report card. They tell us what our child’s special talents, interests and aptitudes are; what issues might need work; and let us know if our child’s teacher has an understanding of them. Usually, the comments, not the grades, spur the discussion in parent teacher conferences.
It is incomprehensible how the Calgary Board of Education has the balls to back this change! To take away a grading policy and replace it with four “statements” that are probably so vague for most parents it will foster even more confusion in our already ridiculous education system in this city, is outright bullshit and parents should be up in arms over this change!
Report cards 2 times a year? WHY????? So that by the time any challenges or learning needs are actually discovered it’s too late???? Continue to push our kids through a system so broken and backwards that they EMERGE from high school so under educated they can’t possibly have an ice cube’s chance in hell of getting into anything other than a minimum wage job?
Isn’t it our job as parents to advocate for our kids to get the very best education possible? Even in a shitty system like the Calgary Board of Education???
I ADORE…I mean ADORE my son’s teacher! I wish I could shrink her down and put her in my pocket and bring her home with me! She is AMAZING in every single sense of the word. The schools Principal is a FREAKING Rock Star! They are two people who gave me hope for my son and making his way through the education system that has been thrust upon the parents of this city.
Naomi Lakritz wrote a scathing article in the Calgary Herald yesterday:
Millions of kids have been the victims of trendiness over the years. Is this not tantamount to educational child abuse?
So what kind of long-term damage will the new report cards cause?
First, despite all the blathering that’s coming from the CBE about more communication between the school and parents, the report cards, with their absence of personalized comments, clearly show there will be less communication. So parents will be more in the dark.
EDUCATIONAL CHILD ABUSE…is exactly what the Calgary Board of Education is committing on our kids.
There is a vote this fall….I hope you will all get your pens out and vote for change in the Calgary Board of Education. I KNOW I will be.
I’ve spent 22 years working in airports. I have seen the good the bad and the ugly when it comes to family dynamics. I have seen kids that help carry everything in, help the parents out, put bags on belts and help corral the little ones making a break for the nearest exit. I have seen sullen teenagers with Louis Vuitton luggage roll their eyes at parents scrambling to get paperwork and passports out of carry on bags. I have seen kids tell parents to shut up and even fuck off. Daily, I watch parents…well parent.
What I have noticed over the past 10 years is a trend towards tuning out to their kids. In the past, when a kid would begin to melt down, the parents would deal with it. In my airline career, I have only seen one parent go over the line and yank a kid around so harshly I was waiting for an arm to come out of the socket. I called the police line in the airport and had them watch through the eye in the sky to make sure that kid made it out of the airport alive.
What I see day in and day out is parents pretty much washing their hands of bad behavior of their children. Kids yanking items off the shelves in the shops and dropping them on the floor. Kids climbing all over seats, and people. Kids taking things from seats that clearly don’t belong to them. Children being told no and then screaming bloody murder at the top of their lungs…ear drum piercing screams that can cause people to go deaf and parents ignoring it.
I get it. I really do. Sometimes the very best thing to do is to let it play out and see where the child lands. A public area is not the place to test your boundaries as a parent. The common thread that seems to tie all these event together is parents who have given up expecting anything from their kids. They let them run around, destroy displays, shout out rude things to their parents and other people in hearing range. What is wrong with this picture.
I can usually spot the parent trying to deal with behavior issues that go way beyond bad behavior. They are the parent looking around panicking to find the nearest area where they can corral their child and reign in the behavior. Those parents are employing every single coping technique they can think of. They have a plan and are trying to get back on track. The parents that blow my mind are the ones that are seeming oblivious to the asshole kid running circles around their legs. Why oh why oh why don’t they love their kids enough to set some damn limits on them??? Why don’t they put aside their desire to just ignore the behavior in favor of actually teaching their child socially appropriate behavior for public places? It’s one thing to deal with a toddler melt down, it’s totally different to just let your child run around like a wild beast and disturb every other human being in the airport.
You are doing your kid a disservice by not expecting more of them. You are setting them up to believe that the entire planet revolves around them and that they can do no wrong. Take 30 seconds out of your day and give your kid the tools to NOT be a jerk! If you don’t care if your kid behaves, do us all a favor and stay home. Let them destroy YOUR house and puncture YOUR eardrums. Perhaps caring enough to help your kid be a functioning member of society should take precedence over your need to just make life easier.
Been there…done that…bought the t-shirt! Can I get an amen from my mom friends?!
Usually, it occurs when we, the adults have completely run out of patience and grace. Our kids are master button pushers and they know exactly how to just dig right in with the right tone, inflection and whine to curl our toes.
I have found three strategies that help avoid the meltdown and keep everyone happy when the day goes longer than anticipated!
1. Try, if at all possible to head it off before it melts down to utter chaos. I know this can be the hardest thing to do, but as parents, we pick up on our kids signals and know when a meltdown is coming on. We brace ourselves and rush through what it is we are trying desperately to accomplish. I have found that if I give myself extra time to complete things, I have that gap in which to deal with a meltdown. For the most part, does it really matter if grocery shopping takes 1 hour rather than 1/2 an hour? Of course not. When I see my kids getting into that state I KNOW is leading to a meltdown, I steer them off before it hits. I ask them to do something fun…like send them down the aisle to find a YELLOW box with cake mix in it…I don’t care what kind of cake they come back with…it’s worth the 96 cents to give them something to do that helps them to partner with me. I head off the meltdown by engaging them in the experience.
2. Get down on their level. When I am in a situation that is uncomfortable and someone is standing over me…I get edgy! The same is true for kids! Stop what you’re doing and bend down. Get to eye level with them. ASK them how they are feeling. Ask them what you can do to help them feel better. I was in the mall with my then 4 year old son and he was tired! I knew he was tired before I even left the house, but we were on a mission to purchase a birthday present for a kid in his playschool class who had a party coming up. My son was eager to help pick it out until he hit the nap wall (my son rarely napped, but when he did, he napped like an Olympic Champion!) He started to get weepy. Then the whining began. We were in a toy store, surrounded by sound, color and lights…a perfect storm of sensory overload for a tired kid. I could see the meltdown building, so I found a spot on an open shelf and sat down and pulled him in. I asked him how he was feeling and what did he think was making him upset. He tucked into me and said “I am scared to be at the party all alone! Will you stay with me?” As we were choosing the gift, he was thinking about going somewhere without his mom! He didn’t want to be left alone at the party. It had nothing to do with the shopping experience, he was simply thinking ahead about what he thought the party was going to be like. I reassured him that I would stay if he needed me. That was all he wanted.
3. Let it blow! We have all witnessed an all out meltdown in a store of “someone’s kid” and thanked our lucky stars it wasn’t ours. Be prepared…one day it will be you. I say, let it all hang out. Let your kid flip his lid and lose his mind. Let him wail and carry on. As he’s doing it, remind him that many people are watching and thinking that perhaps he isn’t a nice boy (or girl). The thought of social shame can bring a kid around. If you happen to be blessed with a kid that doesn’t care, the next strategy I employ is lowering my voice and getting down eye level with them. I remind them that their behavior is not appropriate or acceptable and if they CHOOSE to carry on in this manner, not only is this “event” ending immediately, there will be further consequences at home. I remember my oldest daughter having a meltdown in the Walmart lineup. She wanted candy and I was not going to purchase candy for her that day. It was around a major holiday so I knew that there was plenty of candy at the house and I was not going to buy her more. She started to whine. I got down eye to eye with her and told her that I was not going to buy candy. She let out a wail that stopped people in their tracks…gawking at me. I smiled and said to her…”louder! The dead people can’t hear you!” She looked at me like I had lost my mind. I repeated to her I was not buying candy and if she continued to wail, not only was there no candy but the candy at home would be taken away as well. Luckily for me, the thought of losing ALL the candy was enough to head her off at the pass and she toned down to a pout. Many kids carry on from that point and you have to decide as a parent what your next move is. Be aware, your choice here will dictate the strings being pulled the next time your child want’s their way. I have left carts filled with groceries in the store aisle. I have walked out of movie theaters and play places. I have driven right through the drive in not stopping and ordering. I have taught my children that I mean business and that an epic meltdown will not move me to give in to their tantrum. Believe me, I know it’s hard. I know that some days you REALLY need those groceries. I also know that you want to have a family that is happy, healthy and peaceful and allowing poor behavior to dictate how you will live your life is no way to create a happy, healthy peaceful environment.
I feel for parents who are standing frozen while their kids have a fit. It’s a tough situation to be in. Especially when you feel like everyone walking by is judging you. Most of them are, however, many of them are quietly sympathizing with you and remembering back to their experiences of toddler chaos. I smile and nod my head in a gesture of sisterhood and keep going.
The next time you see a mom out trying to cope with a toddler having a meltdown, don’t judge her. You don’t have any idea what’s going on. Perhaps her child has a sensory disorder and there is no possible way to prevent or minimize the meltdown and she is simply trying to get through another day of dealing with major health issues with her child. We have all “been there, done that!” What we need, as moms is a knowing smile and gesture of sisterhood to make it to the next minute.